Monday, April 12, 2010

The making of a gentleman.

How could I not help start your week with another list. Thus far I posted 36 Things every man should do before dying, and , 10 +1 Things to do/have (for the ladies)well today, it's about "The making of a gentleman".

Before we begin, let me say that the term gentleman has been overly used, misrepresented, misunderstood - I will not go to in depth on the subject at this time (that's a whole other book), however, I will state that if he/you are unable to check off most of the things on this list...hmmm...

1. On giving up the seat. Gentleman give up their seat to the elder and young children... not to the good looking lady, just because she's good looking (otherwise, you might as well never sit. Giving up the seat every time and for everyone doesn't make you a gentleman, it just makes you the guy with sore feet.)

2. On looking at women. A real gentleman doesn't look back after she passes. Look and learn to work your peripheral... but once she's out of your peripheral, let thoughts of her be out your mind.

3. On gossip. End it where it begins... if someone starts going down that path, interrupt and ask if what they are going to say will benefit either themselves, the person they are talking about, or yourself... if they say no, ask them what's the point.

4. On the quality of life. Gentlemen do not impose themselves on others, this means their music remains moderate, their boxers stay hidden, their hygiene unoffensive, and language appropriate

5. On greeting women. Now this is a tough one that I've been trying to master myself. Gentlemen should not be the first to approach a woman or even greet them. A woman should say hello first then he proceeds. On approaching a woman, the chap should only do so if she gives him an opening (i.e. a smile, eye contact).

6. On the shoes. Shoes must always be polished. Make sure those slanted heels are replaced and taps are added to them. Nothing kills a look more than a sharp dressed man with dirty or worn shoes.

7. On living life. A gentleman has an appreciation for life, he lives it fully understanding that everyday he has the opportunity to improve the world around him. He lives life with passion without caring to be a role model, but living consciously by example.

8. On penmanship. Learn to write and I don't mean just print.

9. On too much. Never be excessive - it's vulgar.

10. Understand elegance. Elegance is an attitude, It's about how you live both in the public eye and in the privacy of your home. Money doesn't buy elegance, it can only purchase items.

11. On making a person smile. This is one of the hidden gems of a gentleman. this is where the gent need not say a word, but simply senses the right time and acts on it without any motives other than simply nurturing or creating a smile. When that lady walks by and looks - smile and simply acknowledge her glance without a word or skipping a step... watch her light up. Even that chap you see who you know took time to present himself to the world...Acknowledge it with a simple nod of the head without skipping a beat. The 'little' things are never little.

12. On SMS. For starters, let's understand one thing - SMS stands for short message service. So, no conversations via text messages! Conversations should be had in person, CAPS somehow just don't express emotions as they should be expressed.


  1. Beautiful list. I totally agree. Except . . . for no. 5. what's the rationale behind no. 5? I find no. 5 frustrating. The woman shouldn't always be forced to make the first move.

  2. Guerre,

    A gentleman should never reach to shake a woman's hand either. When meeting her for the first time a gentleman should smile and nod to acknowledge her. If she reaches for a handshake, a gentleman should respond in kind. These etiquette rules have clearly fallen by the wayside. Heaven, help us!

  3. For those endeavoring to follow Point 8:

  4. Photodiarist - I firmly believe that the best relationships begin when it is precisely the woman who makes the first move. I think it's only after her acknowledgment that the man should pursue. I'd love to sit down and discuss this. If you're ever in NY, I invite you to a glass, and we'll amicably debate the topic.

  5. Hmmmm. I might have to disagree on the one about letting the woman speak first:) Women should never be the aggressor in my opinion:) And I personally like it when a "gentleman" makes me notice him in a subtle way.

    This list definitely lets me know that I know very few gentelemen:(

  6. Karl- I would love to discuss. I am in New York,so we'll have to make a date sometime. I do agree with God's Favorite Shoes! that the woman shouldn't be the aggressor. A gentleman should initiate by smiling or making another subtle gesture. I guess the key word is "subtle."

  7. Agree 110% with point #12. I lose all interest in a man who believes that text messaging is an appropriate channel for a full blown conversation. In my eyes you are basically telling me that I'm not worthy of a phone call.

  8. What about a list for the ladies on how to be a lady? I would love to read that.

  9. Number 5 seems to be a bit in dispute. Notice it doesn't say the woman needs to speak first, just give the man an opening before he decides whether or not to pursue. So in a way the gentleman is still making the first move, but only after acknowledging said opening whether it be a second a glance, a smile, giggle, or whatever.

  10. I don't agree with Number 1. A man should give up his seat to the elderly and pregnant women. Children are out of the question.

  11. nice list...but i disagree with #5.....nice list



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